Why “I’m Sorry” Is A Meaningless Phrase

I always hated when people say “I’m Sorry” because they think saying it is enough. Some people believe that spilling your gut out saying how sorry you are actually changes anything. It doesn’t at all.

Let’s look at what the definition of “I’m Sorry” is:

1. Feeling or expressing sympathy, pity, or regret: I’m sorry I’m late.

2. Worthless or inferior; paltry: a sorry excuse.

3. Causing sorrow, grief, or misfortune; grievous: a sorry development.

Yeah that’s nice, but it still doesn’t change anything. Does it make up for anything? Not at all. Just saying the words is almost like an empty promise.

Here is how I apologize for something. It’s really complicated so you might want to reread this part: You do something nice for the person you wronged. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t even need to be something extravagant. Just being a friend and talking is sometimes enough. Buy a meal, make the person feel good, joke around…..something! You can’t just say the words and expect everything to be okay in the end.

It’s almost like when you tell someone “I love you”. What sounds better?

Me saying “I love you”

Or

Me going above and beyond to make you feel great about being with me. Doing some kind of gesture that shows how much I enjoy being around you. And then saying “I love you”

I’m pretty sure people want the second option over the first option.

Now you don’t have to go over the top about an apology. Here’s some examples of how I apologized to some people:

  1. Some girl wanted to hang out and the day of something came up that I had to go to. There was no way around it. So I called her and told her everything, I said how “sorry” I was about letting her down. THEN I told her when I’m free next and made sure I was available that day and when we hung out made it a great day for her.
  2. I got into a fight with a co-worker and it got pretty heated. It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and I had Wednesday off. So I came back Friday after the two day break. We saw each other, he came up and said he was sorry for what he said and didn’t mean to offend me. I shook his hand and I said I was equally at fault.  After that I asked how his Thanksgiving went and he asked how mine went. That day we talked about basketball and a multitude of other things that rest of the day. Then every day at work we talked and joked around…..likes friends would.

These were just 2 examples of times where I said I was “sorry”, but you can clearly see it didn’t just end with the words. You know what the worst kind of apology is? Saying “I’m sorry” and then doing nothing after. Silence isn’t the answer. It never is, but for some reason this is the road most people take.

Someone said it the best way to me. He said “Joe, everyone can’t be you” and he was right. Now I’m not perfect. I never went around saying I am, but I’m smart enough to know that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.

Empty words are the same as empty promises. They do nothing, but make the person saying it feel better about themselves. They feel like “what else can I do”, but clearly there are a lot of other things you can do to prove you’re sorry.

Just take a moment and think about it like this. If someone screwed up and you were affected in one way or another, would just the words “I’m sorry” be enough for you?

Joe Reyes

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The Depression Generation

Throughout American history, we had names for the new Generations for people growing up. In 1900-1924, it was called the “G.I. Generation”. Following that was the “Silent Generation” of the 1920s, the famous “Baby Boom” of the 1940s and “Generation X” of the 60s. After the “Millennials” of the 2000s we are currently in the “New Silent Generation” or “Generation Z” as some call it. I would like to rename today’s generation as the “Depression Generation”.

What do you notice about today? Wars, high taxes, unemployment, cancer, drugs, death and violence everywhere. Things are bad today and nobody really wants to admit it. Kids are growing up in poverty because of lack of employment. Businesses are cutting huge groups of their employees to save a little money.

God forbid you get sick today. Medical bills are enormous! I was in an ambulance once. They just simply transported me. It wasn’t like they had to resuscitate me on the ride there. That cost about $500, just to take me from my house to the ambulance. I wasn’t on my parents insurance, then who knows how much that would’ve cost me. I probably would’ve taken my chances at home.

Schooling is a joke today. I could get a degree in Business Marketing, spend thousands of dollars and hours achieving that goal and still end up washing dishes at a restaurant, making minimum wage. There are 0 jobs out there anymore.

I got a Creative Writing degree, got A’s in every writing class and have a great talent for writing and when I try and send something out to a publisher they say “by referral only”. This isn’t just for writing; this is something that most businesses today do. You must know someone in order to get the job you want.

I could fill out an application for a minim wage fast food joint and the place will have the audacity to ask me if I know someone that works there. We live in a world where you must know someone in order to succeed. The American Dream is just a dream nowadays.

People my age are extremely stressed out. You got a job that isn’t covering the bills; you got a degree that won’t land you anything, car payments and to top it all, off your mostly alone in this, because everyone else is doing the exact same thing and they can’t help you because they are going through the same thing. People today care about themselves and that’s it. It’s rare to find someone like me who goes out of their way to help others. Personal sacrifice for others apparently isn’t the “thing” to do today.

This isn’t an “Advice” kind of article. I don’t have any advice for people out there because I don’t have an answer. I could roll off a few generic lines like “don’t worry, it’ll work itself out” or “stay positive”. It’s a hard thing to be positive in today. So much goes wrong so fast today.

Am I one of the Depressed? Not really. Granted, things go wrong, but that’s life. Things go wrong, life throws you hurdles and you find a way to get past it. Maybe, that is the advice I could put out there for this article.

Today’s youth is going through a lot. It’s harder to get a job that you can support yourself with. I know people with 2 and 3 jobs and still have a hard time paying their bills. There really isn’t 1 culprit for these problems.

It’s so hard trying to survive in today’s day and age. But, the only thing we can do is try and make it work with what we’re giving to us. We’re not all born with a silver spoon in our mouth. At times you have to fight and claw your way to a successful life. It’s tough, buts it’s the only thing we can do.

Joe Reyes

History Repeats Itself…For The Better?

When people hear the phrase “History Repeats Itself” it’s always taken as a negative. But there are times, many times indeed, that history repeating itself is a good thing. This article idea was thought up entirely by a friend of mine and I’ve been blowing it off for a while because I never knew what to write, but then one day I thought about things in my life and how history repeating itself found a way to work out.

I knew a friend who had cancer. It was really hard because there’s not much you can say at a time like that. You can regurgitate the usual jargon like “Don’t worry” and “You’ll be fine”. At time like that optimism is great, but I find that actually numbers work out better. I told him how in the past few years, doctors found new ways to treat and combat cancer.  I jokingly brought up Polio, and I said “Can you name someone who has that?”.

That’s just 1 instance, but the point of it is that it worked. He felt better about his situation and fought on, and lived. Now obviously what I said didn’t save his life, but in a way it comforted him knowing that somewhere in the world a doctor was coming up with a way to save his life.

Technology is the biggest history repeater of them all. We are always inventing new things to make our lives easier and better. Cars, phones, computers, people are always making new things. As simplistic as it sounds, that’s a form of history repeating itself.

Something that happened to me recently, was a breakup. I was really hurt by the whole thing and didn’t know what to do. I have never been so destroyed by a girl before and I was scared, because I didn’t know how I was possibly going to move on from it.

I did in time. I saw other people; I talked about it with friends and realized I was wrong to ever be upset about her. I realized she wasn’t worth it at all. I always tell people the phrase, “Sometimes thing go bad” but on the reverse side of it “Things get better”. The whole point of it is that again “History repeats itself for the better”. Things go bad and things go good again.

We live in a world where things constantly go bad. We lose jobs and we find new ones. Friends come and go. It’s a constant cycle of this. We have ups and downs, but it’s never something to be discouraged about.

Even people down on their last dollar can find a way to bounce back. Nothing is impossible in this world. Things stand in our way and we find a way to push through. So when people say “History repeats itself” don’t think of it as a negative. Think of it as a way push through problems and come out a winner.

Joe Reyes